Once the skill is attained, there is nothing automatic about it. Furthermore, people are often surprised at the exertion required to become a competent listener. Many individuals, at first, find the process somewhat uncomfortable. Rather, we are there to motivate and cheer the other person on.Įmpathic listening skills require a different subset of proficiencies than conversing, and it is certainly an acquired skill. When it comes to empathic listening, we do not vie to be heard, nor do we take turns speaking. Certainly, listening skills play an important role is such stimulating exchanges. When two friends or colleagues have an engaging dialogue, they will often compete to speak and share ideas. We spend a large portion of our waking hours conversing and listening. Listening Skills in Interpersonal Communication Understood, an enormous emotional burden is lifted stress and defensiveness are reduced and The method to therapeutic as well as human resource management skills. This approach to listening was developed by Carl Rogers, author ofĬlient-Centered Therapy. Empathic listening requires that we accompany a person in her moment of sadness, anguish, Often used in psychology: the process of attending to another so the individual feels heard in a non-judgmental Oneself in a position to understand another person.
Empathy, according to some dictionary definitions, means to put The process of listening so others will talk is called empathic listening.
I have found that these “silent types” will often open up when there is someone who will truly listen. During the joint session, this same employee was able to laugh when it was appropriate. By the time we finished, he felt understood and had gained confidence. Yet this individual spoke to me for almost two hours. In another organization, I was informed that the pre-caucus would be quite brief, as the person I was about to listen to was not a man of many words. Had these men come immediately into a joint meeting with their respective contenders, their feelings of vulnerability might just as easily have turned into anger and defensiveness. A similar situation took place at a different enterprise, where one of the managers began to cry, ostensibly because of other issues pressing heavily upon him. (Rather than bringing both of these individuals together immediately, I instead met with each separately in a pre-caucus.) As soon as the owner left us alone, the individual broke into tears. Perhaps we can think of it as listening first aid.Īt one enterprise, I had just been introduced, by the proprietor, to one of the parties involved in a conflict where I would be the mediator. Not until then, can a party consider the needs of the other. Of emotion, anger, stress, frustration and other negative feelings until the individual can see more clearly. The role of the listener is to help empty the large reservoirs Only when the water level has leveled off between the two compartments, does the waterīegin to flow evenly back and forth. During this venting process, there is still too much pressure for a person to consider The role of the listener or helper is to allow such an individual to open the lock gates. Such an individual is unlikely to (1) thinkĬlearly about the challenge or (2) be receptive to outside input from another. Likewise, a party who is holding in her emotions needs a release. If one were to open these lock gates, the flow would be mostly unidirectional. With disparate water levels there is a buildup of Wounds, or involved in a serious interpersonal conflict. We can compare this scene to the state of mind of an individual suffering from deep emotional Than that of the next compartment through which a ship will travel. The water level behind one set of closed locks can be much higher Massive lock gates are utilized to manage the water levels in the canal, so that ships can Youth, I traversed the canal several times as we sailed in a freight ship from the port of Valparaiso in Chile, The Panama Canal may serve as an adequate analogy for the role of effective listening skills. Empathic Listening: Listening First Aid Listening Skills
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